just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
