Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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