Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
