you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I've blown a few things in my day
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Can I color on your dick again?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
