U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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