margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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