so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
