I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
