i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
