Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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