have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You can't motorboat a personality
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
