I am puke
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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