Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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