dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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