I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Do you still have your period?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
