There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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