Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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