o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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