he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
