So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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