So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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