Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
