he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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