ya dads aren't the best wingmen
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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