Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
