I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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