i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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