This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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