That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
