JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
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Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
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Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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