He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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