I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
MIDGETS
????
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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