I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize