who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
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Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
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I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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