Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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