2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just found puke in my bra..
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
