I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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