they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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