Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
