I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
