matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
