She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
