things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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