The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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