After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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