As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
