I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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