I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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