Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
