I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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