if you like me you must not know who I am
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize