Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
