Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize