that's an acceptable place to lick
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
