i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
