So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
