it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
