i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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