3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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