She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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