Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
