is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My ATM looks so different sober.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
