just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
