wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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