Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize