Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
