you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
