Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize